A festive Father’s Day

June 16, 2013. This must be a feast day for me! I don’t know how it is for you. But allotting my time to think about this day, I see my father – Sandy.

I can tell a lot about him. I can even tell his sins and the good in him. All of the scenes I have recollected now surprisingly retain in my head. It is so because they are really significant in my growing-up days. It is because that’s a very special thing I must look at. And it’s because knowing my father makes me celebrate the festivity of Father’s day.

I have to admit: I had more lonely nights than brighter days with my father. And though I tried to make those stars appear at night, they didn’t show up. But I knew they were there – covered by thick and heavy clouds (and even during daytime, there are stars in the sky!).

This is one of the things I could not change. But this is also one of the things that I love to cherish.

Yes, cherish.

And that is holding on to how fantastic my father was… and still is.

My father is a man of a big dream. He told me once that to be an engineer was his greatest ambition. But he ended up becoming a government employee. And so he turned to his Jr (that’s me) and encouraged me to finish his unfinished dream – me becoming an engineer.

And so I became part of his big dream. I remember buying books from my savings just to buy civil engineering books when I was in high school. I remember spending time in the library taking down notes on books about engineering thinking it’s a good preparation for a college entrance exam on engineering. And I remember enrolling into a Drafting subject just to submit impressive plates to my teacher and display it on my wall. 

But oh how huge that dream was for me. Too heavy and too large that I know it’s not my interest. It was just a temporary dream.  And later on realized that it’s not my dream… but it’s my father’s.

But still, my father is a man of a big dream. Though he failed to be an engineer and also failed to produce an engineer from his eight children, he helped us to dream big. And to hear these words from him, “If that is what makes you happy, go for it,” is a dream-come-true for us.

And I want to add that my father is a man of love. 

Oh how touching it was to see him putting the brightest and newest bulb for us to have a good read on books and doing our homework. How moving it was to see him cooking for our breakfast so that my mother could still have a long sleep in the morning. It’s so inspiring to see his courage of borrowing money from anybody else he knows just to pay our tuition fees on time - and I saw him eating his pride there and trumping over shame and embarrassment.

Oh how encouraging it was for me to see him smile and nod while I played my keyboard or my guitar, or while I sing (with great difficulty), or even when I do some artworks.

Oh how funny it is to think now how he taught me things like: being a bus janitor in the terminal; butchering chickens; watering the plants; helping in the construction of our little house; doing carpentry; swimming; cooking; and singing (now the difficulty comes from him).

I really cherish these fantastic moments with my father. It makes me laugh until now. It gives inspiration to me and it makes me proud of him being my father.

But how about those things that he has done so badly? 

Oh… I forgot them by the way – just as how God forgets all of my sins.

A lot of people would still say, “but remember the time when your father…” NO. “Remember” doesn’t just fit now when God already forgot.

“And I will remember their sins no more.” (Heb. 8;12)

Imitating God, I also refuse to keep a list of my father’s mistakes. I think I bumped my head some years ago that I could no longer “remember” his wrongs.

“As far as the east from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)

“Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool.” (Is 1:18)

No, these are God’s words, not mine and not us. I just suddenly saw God forgiving my father and so why can’t i? Why couldn’t we (for those who have known him)?

In today’s Reading (Sam 12:7-10), David, after being confronted regarding his sins of adultery and murder, repented to God and was forgiven.

In today’s Gospel (Lk 7:36), when a woman, who was known as a sinner, came to Jesus and wept, her sins were forgiven.

And when Paul said, “It’s no longer me. Christ lives in me (Gal 2:16),” it’s clear that we “wear” Christ.

This is the very reason and purpose why I consider this year’s Father’s day a feast day! Because I want to tell my father this message: When God looks at you now, he doesn’t see Sandy Sr.; He sees Christ in you.

P.S. Happy Father’s day Pa! Remember, He forgot.